today is 3rd april..

FCUK! 6 months of preparations left to 'WAR'.

I want to have a good cry now. let me melt....

Time is definitely my biggest enemy now. No foe is more foul than time wasting.
I don't know why i love to waste time but i guess thats the price I have pay for an exchange with 'FUN'.

I notice my time wasting habit started when i was 16, which is the beginning of my Dark Ages.
I started to mingle around with friends during prep class and chat, talk, bla..bla..when the right thing to do is to study.. warming up the chair and wait until the bell rang at 10.30pm. (balik hostel...zzzzzzz..)
Achieving quite good marks and top rank in class during those years made me comfortable in my 'safe zone'.

And that habit continues to get me until at this very moment.

*sigh*

I know STPM is not a normal easy sap sap water exam just like UPSR PMR SPM whereby last minute study will do. STPM ridiculously covers a wide scope whereby constant study and hard work is a necessity.

I want to change! (I've been saying this so many times until i think this phrase has been getting so overrated! Urghhhhh)It's not that i don't know it's just that it's so freakin difficult to stop myself from going online everyday,playing games and watching tv and laugh out loud when it is 'The Nanny' they're airing.

I miss the old me (this one is another one.....*sigh again* i should develop more meaningful phrase)

It's true that by the declining day, we all are in the state of loss, not we all, but mostly it's me.

I've not been using my time so well nowadays.

I've been wasting them like people who wash their car when they knew it will rain soon.
Like people take their shower without using any shower cream or soap.
Like people eating rice with no dish.
Run while they can ride the motorcycle.
Writing letters while they can send an sms.

ok. enough bullshitting with metaphors.
 the fact is..
I know sometime people do have their ups and downs but who wants to be down there all the time?
I know how it feels like to be down there and it's frightening. It's like u are having an endless night down there, with no lights, neither from the moon nor the stars.
When u r down there, it's petrifying because u don't know who is going to save u, when are u going to get out and how are u going to see the light again.

So without further due, i'm off to read something now.
I'm going to read at least a page for one subject tonight.

Good Luck!
Wish for my luck and pray for my success in retaining my glory.