L.O.S.T

at this point of life, i'm in a state of nowhere. i don't feel belonging.
But I think I'm having an identity crisis.
I feel like I'm empty inside, like at any given moment I'm going to crack and fall away into a thousand little broken pieces of mirror and vanished. My mood swings about every day, I don't know how to think or what to do with myself. I feel like I'm losing a war with myself and can't do anything about it. Because of this I just keep feeling more and more hopeless, and good happy things don't seem to be enough anymore to prop myself up again. I don't want to be all whiney and complaining about everything. i hate when people see me as a problematic.

i don't even know how to present myself to public without hypocrisy. I'm telling you people, I'm FAKE, F.A.K.E

or maybe it's merely the process of being an adult.?

or maybe because i know im failing in STPM and chosen the wrong road.?

or maybe it is identity crisis.?


I keep advising people to move on, but what have i done for myself.? I'm telling people to step forward, but me.? I'm always retreating, running away from reality as if running on a treadmill. when you are exercising on the treadmill, there's never a destiny, you're still on the same spot before and after, all you get is sweat, fatigue (and hot figure).

I just hope that by the end of the day, I'm ME again.
maybe i should stop ranting about life and start study for math, phy and p.am.
 
off to glory, pray for my success.